We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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