Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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