You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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