I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize