how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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