Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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