dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
