At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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