Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
