last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
