Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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