I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am available for nakedness
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
