Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
