would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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