I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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