I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
