I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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