so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
