Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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