it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
