Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
