Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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