i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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