For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
