Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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