The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
