I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
