Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
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