John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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