I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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