these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
honey bunches of taint.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
