it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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