he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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