Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
