i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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