Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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