I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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