well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
