While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
