it wasn't lemon gatorade
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
