who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
