I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
