Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
