That's intense
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
