i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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