some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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