my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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