He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
