if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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