So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
