Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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