I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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