Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
