Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
