Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
